16 September 2009

On the Journey

                            Seeking to live an authentic Christian life—

              I confess that I do not share the aversion to “chick flicks” expressed by many of my male friends and my sons. When I accompany Rita to view one of these films or rent one for home entertainment, I do not consider them a form of cruel and unusual punishment. I only rarely cry during the mushy parts, but I am able to enjoy the story line.

              Having made this confession, it should not surprise you to know that I have seen the movie, Last Chance Harvey. In fact, I have seen it twice! I will acknowledge that any reluctance I had about seeing this movie was overcome when I realized that Dustin Hoffman was playing the leading role. Dustin Hoffman is one of my favorite actors, and I have enjoyed most of his movies like Rain Man, All the President’s Men, Meet the Fockers, Hook, Tootsie, and Kramer vs. Kramer. In my mind, I thought, “Nothing with Dustin Hoffman can be that bad.” Wrong!

              The movie was about Harvey Shine, a jingle writer for an advertising firm. Harvey risked his job to attend his daughter’s wedding in London. Upon his arrival, Harvey realizes he is not truly welcome. His ex-wife and her successful and adoring husband have scripted the rehearsal dinner and wedding celebration. The stepfather has hijacked the roles of the father-of-the-bride. This leads to a surprising romance between Harvey and Kate, a lonely statistician conducting interviews with arriving guests at Heathrow.

              The story moves so slowly it becomes quite boring. Hoffman does not offer one of his memorable performances. Somehow, the project just didn’t come together as I anticipated—even for a “chick flick.”  That’s the way I felt the first time I saw it.

              The second time I watched the film was on the return flight from Moscow this summer. This time around, I thoroughly enjoyed the movie. Now, don’t misunderstand me, it was the same boring film. “What made the difference?” you ask. Well, I had read an interview with Dustin Hoffman in which he stated that while portraying Harvey in Last Chance Harvey he tried to be himself. He studied himself for the development of the character. This bit of information radically altered how I saw the film.

              As I watched the film, I looked for clues to see the type of man Dustin Hoffman truly is in everyday life. I was not looking for Rain Man or Captain Hook or any of the other score of characters Hoffman has portrayed, but I was attempting to recognize the man, Dustin Hoffman. I concluded this was the most difficult role he ever played.

              Hoffman, in Last Chance Harvey, reminded me how difficult it is to be ourselves. For so many of us, the question of who we are remains a very pressing question. We may not be the self-conscious teenager staring into the mirror trying on different expressions, but we still wonder from time-to-time exactly who we are. It sometimes feels like we play so many roles. At the very same time, we are a child, a spouse, a parent, a caregiver, a citizen, an employee or a retiree. Our roles change over time, thrusting new expectations and different responsibilities upon us. Even our culture attempts to write the roles we play. Despite what the advertisers say, fifty is not the new thirty as I have experienced my fifties! Whatever the expectations may be, I am still fumbling with the script I have been handed for this stage of my life.

              When I realize how difficult is to know who we are, I confront with a new honesty the difficulty of living an authentic Christian life. When I reflect upon how hard it is to know and be one’s true self, I understand completely Jesus’ warnings about the danger of hypocrisy. The meaning of hypocrisy is derived from the ancient Greek theatre where the actors wore masks. The masks concealed their identity from the audience, transforming them into the character they were to play. It seems to me that many of us are tempted to wear masks concealing our identities. Sometimes we are hiding from others, and sometimes we are attempting to hide from ourselves. At times, I am convinced there is no greater stage than the church where we are tempted to play roles that deny what we have truly experienced.

              Across the years, this is what I have experienced. The Christian life is not nearly as dramatic as I anticipated. Most often, the ordinary reveals the holiness of life.  Mountaintop experiences do not come as often as I had hoped.  The valleys of despair can be much darker and last much longer than anyone warned me. Miracles are very rare—the Red Sea has only parted once in all of recorded history. God’s voice seldom thunders from a mountaintop. It requires extreme patience to hear God’s still small voice in the midst of God’s silence.  The kingdom of God appears in the most unlikely places, rarely catching the attention of the affluent or the powerful. Faithfulness to God is a long journey lasting a lifetime and requiring a company of committed friends to comfort and encourage us when we grow weary of doing good. Worship of God is a daily activity. Loving one’s neighbors can be as challenging as loving one’s enemy. I can only deny myself if the power comes from beyond me through the Holy Spirit. Following Jesus requires discipline. Trusting Jesus demands more faith than I can muster some days. In the end, the only thing that truly matters is the most vulnerable of all—love. 

              How do we live an authentic Christian life based on our experiences of God, the Father, Christ Jesus, the Son, and the Holy Spirit? It requires a humility in which we bear witness to what we have heard and seen. We cannot live an authentic life of faith if we try to play a role in a script we have not read. An authentic life of faith requires a radical honesty before God and before friends and strangers.

              When it comes to living by faith, let’s seek to live trusting our experience of God, resisting hypocrisy, and believing that God is continually shaping us with a loving and gentle hand. God is the potter.  We are the clay. May our lives and our words bear witness only to the imprint of God’s hands upon our lives. I cannot have your experience of God, and you cannot have mine. We must trust that our experience leads to our salvation, as God has ordained.jamie