1 April 2009

On the Journey

              The Lonely Jesus . . .

               Holy Week is upon us. In the coming days, we will pray for the discipline to reflect thoughtfully about the passion of our Lord. For fifteen years, we have intentionally made this journey into the shadows together.  The journey into the shadows is a difficult one. The week demands that we confront powerful realities—sin, evil, and death. The mystery of Jesus’ suffering defies our powers of understanding. The death of God’s son raises haunting questions about God’s power. There are no words to describe resurrection other than—the tomb is empty! Finally, we hope to experience, at the center of our existence, the life transforming power revealed in our Crucified and Risen Lord, Jesus of Nazareth.

              Across the years, I have listened carefully to every word written in the gospels about this week. I have analyzed all the characters from Caiaphas to Pilate, from Simon of Cyrene to Joseph of Arimathea, from Mary, the mother of Jesus, to Mary Magdalene, from Simon Peter to Judas. In my imagination, I have scrutinized the faces and the motives of the members of the Sanhedrin. With fear choking me, I have looked directly into the faces of people in the crowd on Friday morning wondering if I might see myself. I am most certain I would have joined the disciples hiding in that upper room. The women would have failed to convince me to go with them to the garden. I suspect I, too, would have dismissed their report of an empty tomb. I can recognize parts of myself in so many of the characters of this week.

              Yet, when I think of Jesus during this week, I am deeply touched by the loneliness he must have felt. How do you deal with such loneliness? Whatever he tries to say to his disciples about his impending death, they refuse to hear. They are arguing among themselves about who will be the greatest in the kingdom. They attempt to get Jesus to promise them places of honor in his coming kingdom. Even when Jesus tells them they will soon be scattered like sheep whose shepherd has been struck down, they pledge to be faithful unto him even to the point of death. How do you endure a loneliness where even your best friends become strangers to you?

              Jesus is alone in the garden—alone because his disciples are sleeping. He prays to his heavenly Father, and God is silent. In the darkness of the garden, he is alone with no word from His father. He is alone, and his disciples are oblivious that the traitor is at hand. He is alone . . .  attempting to endure the powers of evil. Alone . . .  he seeks to be obedient to a silent Father who sent him from heaven to earth.

              Jesus faces the loneliness of false accusations in silence. The high priest and the religious leaders assault him. The very people who should be looking for him become his most passionate enemies. God’s earthly representatives seek to convince him that he is delusional. He is accused of being a messenger of Satan himself. Alone . . .  he seeks to remain faithful to the words he had heard his Father speak.

              Alone . . . he hangs on tree. The disciples, captive to their fear, are in hiding. The crowds mock and taunt him. He feels abandoned by his Father. Alone . . .  he waits for death to come—for it all to be finished.

              Alone . . .  he dies. He screams. He breathes his last breath. He is gone. There he hangs dead between his only two companions—an innocent one surrounded by thieves.

              This loneliness of Jesus haunts me. In this loneliness, he remains obedient to his calling as the Messiah despite faithless friends, passionate enemies, and an absent Father. What is the source of such courage and faith? Where do you and I find such courage and faith? We are constantly looking in the faces of others to know who we are. If others fail to recognize our importance, we are wounded. Obstacles easily defeat us. We are tempted to go along rather than to be alone.

              Where did Jesus nurture such courage and faith? I suspect it came day-by-day during those years before his public ministry. While quietly working as carpenter, he learned lessons of life and faith nourishing his spirit. The crucible of suffering only revealed the depth of his faith and trust in the Father. He prepared himself for cross long before Good Friday. Perhaps our observance of Holy Week will inspire us to nurture our lives of faith day-by-day, so, like Jesus, we can remain obedient—even if we are alone.jamie